2008 Woodie Awards
Why smokers hate trees
Matthew Hoban
Issue date: 10/10/06 Section: Opinion
When presented with the coming of autumn, the average Lorain Country Community College student reflects upon trees' leaves filling with a variety of colors and falling to the ground. But, to the student smokers of the Stocker Center building, this de-chloroforming spells impending doom.
As the leaves' shades move from green to reds, yellows, oranges, and browns, the smokers sit watching and waiting for that torturous drop in temperature, when a simple cigarette becomes simply that.
Since its construction and initial non-smoking indoor policy, smokers have been banned to these harsh conditions. Complaints run rampant, as wind-chill and ice prove hazardous to smoker's health and livelihood.
Ian Wagner, a two-pack-a-day smoker and liberal arts major, commented, "It's like we're being discriminated against. Everyone hates us. In fact, this girl walked by me the other day and coughed when I blew smoke in her face. I mean…it was like she was taunting me."
Smoking stands as an ever-growing issue across the country with radical groups such as S.T.A.N.D. appealing for the removal of smokers throughout society. Even Christian groups are calling out against smoker's rights.
"Well, it's not their body to use in such a destructive manner, anyways," commented Patrick Wightman, a non-smoking, Christian activist, "God gave them that body. What right do they have to destroy it?"
While there is no action now being taken to increase smokers' rights, discourse continues outside. Among these are: appealing to the college for a space heater, a smoker's lounge, or even smoking classrooms.
Taylor Brady, post-secondary student and self-proclaimed head of smokers' gossip, said, "I think it would really influence class participation and clairvoyant thinking in a positive way ... since it's a stimulant and all."
While there are positive points to smoking, such as Brady's reference to the enlightened state of mind due to the thinning of blood in contact with nicotine, non-smokers just won't listen. As stated in the Surgeon General's Warning, non-smokers concerns' are lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and the possible complication of pregnancies, rather than the refreshing, infinitely enjoyable taste of a cigarette.
While smokers sit watching the leaves fall from the trees, like a clock counting down to their personal Armageddon, they won't be enjoying the brilliant colors or nice breeze. Instead, they will be tortured with the fall of each leaf, reminded that their social and enjoyable habit is soon to be ruined by the coming of winter.
As the leaves' shades move from green to reds, yellows, oranges, and browns, the smokers sit watching and waiting for that torturous drop in temperature, when a simple cigarette becomes simply that.
Since its construction and initial non-smoking indoor policy, smokers have been banned to these harsh conditions. Complaints run rampant, as wind-chill and ice prove hazardous to smoker's health and livelihood.
Ian Wagner, a two-pack-a-day smoker and liberal arts major, commented, "It's like we're being discriminated against. Everyone hates us. In fact, this girl walked by me the other day and coughed when I blew smoke in her face. I mean…it was like she was taunting me."
Smoking stands as an ever-growing issue across the country with radical groups such as S.T.A.N.D. appealing for the removal of smokers throughout society. Even Christian groups are calling out against smoker's rights.
"Well, it's not their body to use in such a destructive manner, anyways," commented Patrick Wightman, a non-smoking, Christian activist, "God gave them that body. What right do they have to destroy it?"
While there is no action now being taken to increase smokers' rights, discourse continues outside. Among these are: appealing to the college for a space heater, a smoker's lounge, or even smoking classrooms.
Taylor Brady, post-secondary student and self-proclaimed head of smokers' gossip, said, "I think it would really influence class participation and clairvoyant thinking in a positive way ... since it's a stimulant and all."
While there are positive points to smoking, such as Brady's reference to the enlightened state of mind due to the thinning of blood in contact with nicotine, non-smokers just won't listen. As stated in the Surgeon General's Warning, non-smokers concerns' are lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and the possible complication of pregnancies, rather than the refreshing, infinitely enjoyable taste of a cigarette.
While smokers sit watching the leaves fall from the trees, like a clock counting down to their personal Armageddon, they won't be enjoying the brilliant colors or nice breeze. Instead, they will be tortured with the fall of each leaf, reminded that their social and enjoyable habit is soon to be ruined by the coming of winter.
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 5
John Wayne College
John Calvey
posted 10/29/06 @ 8:52 AM EST
I guess I wouldn't mind being subjucated to the weather extremes if I care to smoke if the state and federal and local governments didn't tax the product, tobacco. (Continued…)
Casandra
posted 11/27/07 @ 5:10 PM EST
Smokers will have to bear the cold soon but that does not mean that they don't enjoy the out-doors. There are very few non-smokers hanging out outside and whatching the leaves fall. (Continued…)
Silly People
posted 11/29/07 @ 4:43 PM EST
"In fact, this girl walked by me the other day and coughed when I blew smoke in her face. I mean...it was like she was taunting me."
HAHAHAHAHA. Are you serious? If someone blatantly blew smoke in my face I'd break their jaw. (Continued…)
Kelly
posted 5/01/08 @ 4:56 PM EST
I find it interesting that smokers are concerned about snow, ice, and cold temperatures affecting their health and well-being! What about your ignorant habit? Isn't that enough in itself to be concerned about? What an idiot!!! And just for the record. (Continued…)
NYC
posted 8/18/08 @ 3:18 PM EST
Good article. It made me laugh :-)
Post a Comment