2008 Woodie Awards
Caffeine freak goes on quest for coffee
Ryan Young, Contributor
Issue date: 3/10/08 Section: Opinion
Never, under any circumstances, should a hot cup of coffee make you think you are going to die. Unfortunately, around campus at LCCC there are few options for a caffeine jones unless you are willing to shell out $5 or $6 for some frilly, venti-mocha-latte-macchiato
In 2007, the National Coffee Association (yeah, it's real) reported that coffee had surpassed soft drinks in national consumption, and was a close second to water.
That's right, water.
It was my quest, dare I say, my obligation to find the best coffee for the best price, as close to LCCC as possible. After sampling the tree sap the cafeteria masquerades as Columbia's finest, I was compelled to launch a full-scale coffee expedition that I have for no particular reason dubbed Coffee Quest '08(CQ08).
Arabica
CQ08 started with a trip across Abbe to the always-popular Arabica. Inside the cafe, it smelled of Wi-Fi and collegiate apathy, with a hint of coffee. I asked the friendly barista for a medium coffee and politely declined the effeminate accoutrements.
For $1.53 of my hard-earned cash, I had procured a vile black substance that was stronger than turpentine and oddly reminiscent of burnt popcorn. It was nutty, but not in a good way. Halfway through the ebony beast, I noticed that my taste buds had been steadily beaten into submission, gradually upgrading the drink to almost terrible.
Burger King
It was breakfast time, and I was hell bent on having it my way. Burger King.
It was surprisingly average. It was astonishingly mediocre. It was exactly what I expected from BK; smooth, searing, hot, and as weak as a losing Michael Vick pit-bull. Undeniably an improvement from the Arabian sludge, the Joe made me optimistic, but secretly I prayed that Burger King was not my dark roasted zenith.
McDonalds
Wanting to complete the yin and yang of fast food dharma, the next to be consumed was McDonald's Premium Roast.
In 2007, the National Coffee Association (yeah, it's real) reported that coffee had surpassed soft drinks in national consumption, and was a close second to water.
That's right, water.
It was my quest, dare I say, my obligation to find the best coffee for the best price, as close to LCCC as possible. After sampling the tree sap the cafeteria masquerades as Columbia's finest, I was compelled to launch a full-scale coffee expedition that I have for no particular reason dubbed Coffee Quest '08(CQ08).
Arabica
CQ08 started with a trip across Abbe to the always-popular Arabica. Inside the cafe, it smelled of Wi-Fi and collegiate apathy, with a hint of coffee. I asked the friendly barista for a medium coffee and politely declined the effeminate accoutrements.
For $1.53 of my hard-earned cash, I had procured a vile black substance that was stronger than turpentine and oddly reminiscent of burnt popcorn. It was nutty, but not in a good way. Halfway through the ebony beast, I noticed that my taste buds had been steadily beaten into submission, gradually upgrading the drink to almost terrible.
Burger King
It was breakfast time, and I was hell bent on having it my way. Burger King.
It was surprisingly average. It was astonishingly mediocre. It was exactly what I expected from BK; smooth, searing, hot, and as weak as a losing Michael Vick pit-bull. Undeniably an improvement from the Arabian sludge, the Joe made me optimistic, but secretly I prayed that Burger King was not my dark roasted zenith.
McDonalds
Wanting to complete the yin and yang of fast food dharma, the next to be consumed was McDonald's Premium Roast.
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